Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
