ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
