Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
