My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
