Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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