if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
