o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize