You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
