i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
