How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
