i barfeds in our rink
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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