She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
