i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
