Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
