hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
