do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You pole danced in your parka.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
