He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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