The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
