I cut my penus on the lid.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
