Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
