Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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