quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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