my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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