three words: i give head
three words: not that well
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
