I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
