Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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