Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize