Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
