That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
