for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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