we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
