I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
