Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
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