me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
