There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
