just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
did i just pee glitter
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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