I am spending my child support on dildos
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize