Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You are the jesus of drinking
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
