I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
why do cheetos always look like penises
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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