Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
