new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize