I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize