They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
