im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up under a house in Key West
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