Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
