Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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