Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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