carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
