went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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