I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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