I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
