it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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