I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
