i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
