So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
