she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize