Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Shame - the story of my life.
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