pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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