I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
