so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
